In as many conversations as possible lately, I’ve been practicing asking myself a powerful question, over and over again, even multiple times within the same conversation.
That question is “What does [this person] need most from me right now?”
It is a practice because the natural tendency is to respond (or worse, react) on behalf of your own agenda.
But that’s really not why you’re there at all.
You’re there for them, for one reason or another.
If you try it, you’ll probably find yourself ‘slipping’ into old habits mid-practice. That’s OK. That’s why it’s called ‘practice’.
I’m writing to you about this today because it has had immediate, powerful results for me.
I’ve found myself making deeper, more meaningful connections, both with people I’ve known and love for a long time, and with new relationships.
Tense or stressful situations get defused and moved forward faster.
And sometimes, you’ll see that all the other person really needs most is for you to shut up and listen. The clue there is, that they just want to keep talking.