If you or someone you love doesn’t eat gluten, you’ve almost certainly run into a server who’s uncomfortable answering questions about the menu.
They may even come back from asking their chef or manager with an answer that still doesn’t make much sense.
Something to notice is that the server, unless they’re completely unsympathetic (in which case you can ask for another one, or leave), is probably trying to help.
They may just really have no idea about the difference between Celiac disease, gluten sensitivity, and wheat allergy.
And that’s OK. Most people don’t. You can still work your way through the tension and uncertainty by continuing to ask good questions when you haven’t heard good answers.
Be polite, yes, but don’t stop until you are comfortable with what you’re hearing.