Something was eating away at me every day, but I told myself I would rather die than talk about it.
It took strength to conceal my feelings for ten years. Except, that strength almost killed me, because the path I chose was doomed.
I could not see how to change course. I could not see that it would also be strong to ask for help.
I’m not really sure what I feared was going to happen if I opened up in therapy; would I be committed? In the end I was briefly, but, that wasn’t it. Getting better simply did not seem like a possibility.
That’s hard to convey to someone who is not, or has never felt depression. There is simply no vision of a better future in their head; not tomorrow, nor ten years from now.
I made it through though, and after ten years of recovery, I want to share with you the flip side of depression.
All of the strength that it takes you to remain firm in your position, to put on a fake face and lie to everyone, can be put to good use.
One day, you can channel that strength into helping others. First, you must fix yourself, but, you should know what comes next.
When you’re healthy, you can be open and honest. You can give. And the more you give, the more you get back.
You can influence people. You can make a difference. You can become powerful.
You just have to find the strength to take that first step.
Matt Fried 