Be Far From Shameful

A valued reader whom I respect showed me how a previous post was off base. I made a broad and sweeping generalization about ‘what is shameful.’ That was not my usual style, and I was wrong. The original sentence read:

The only thing that’s shameful is not making a change when possible.

Here’s what it should have read:

Another shameful thing I have done is not making certain changes when they were possible.

Admittedly, I’m pretty hard on myself. I am constantly questioning whether or not I ‘could have done more’. My friends would tell you that I am always ‘going the extra mile’.

That trait runs pretty deep with me, in opposite directions. Though I currently use self-doubt to be constructive, it wasn’t always that way. I used to be selfdestructive. Instead of “How can I do this better?”, I would fixate on “How is this going to get worse?”

Things did get worse. Spiraling into a black hole worse. For as long as my mentality was that way, my life went that way. Down, down, down, deep into a pit of self-wallowing, to the point where I am lucky to be alive today.

So the question is, where will my life go with the mental arrow pointing up? If I diligently strive to do better every day, it will not be easy, but it will certainly be far from shameful.

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